Breaking free from the spending fix
Some consumers find credit cards are as addictive as cigarettes or alcohol. But programs like Debtors Anonymous offer plastic junkies the support to quit for good. Tess Vigeland reports.
Mannequin holding red word Debt (iStockPhoto)
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TESS VIGELAND: "Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them." Couple of lines from poet and humorist Ogden Nash that will ring true for lots of Americans these days.
We are on a repayment frenzy in this country, having realized that our finances are far more fragile than we thought. For some it's just a matter of re-prioritizing savings habits. But for others, it's a matter of digging out of a deep, deep hole. And for help, more and more of those in trouble are turning to anonymous strangers.
Jo: I'm Jo. I've been a member of Debtors Anonymous for it'll be 10 years, August 15. I use that date, because that's the date I actually stopped incurring any unsecured debt.
I met up with Jo a couple of weeks ago at the Getty Museum cafe in west Los Angeles. High above the city, with crowds milling about, her anonymity was protected. And that's something we'll do here, too. First names only. But I can reveal what she drank.
Vigeland: So you have a nonfat decaf coffee here, is that how you manage your credit life as well? Safe?
JO: No, this is mocha.
Jo has no credit cards, her car is paid off and she owns her condo outright. And that certainly wasn't the case when she showed up at her first Debtors Anonymous meeting in mid-1999. At the time she was making $33,000 a year.
Jo: I was $40,000 in debt on credit cards when I got to DA. And I still had $35,000 in credit left that was free that I could use. And I kept thinking, "I got another 35, I can keep going.
Some of the cards took six years to pay off. But eventually, she whittled it all away. Now she leads the meetings, and she says lots of debt-laden Americans are learning similar lessons in this recession.
Jo: Unfortunately, I think people have to get that low before they will decide to change. We have a saying in the program: "It's not about the money." That's one of the symptoms but it's not about the money.
In that way, Debtors Anonymous is just like its sister addiction programs for alcohol and drug abuse. DA uses a 12-step method and members have turned the idea of debt addiction into a verb. Their problem is known as "debting."
Bill: I used debting the same way people drink.
Bill is another Los Angeles-area member of DA. He asked that we disguise his voice. And we met up at another anonymous location, a metro train stop.
Bill: I just couldn't handle life in life's terms, and I thought if I looked good, I would be somebody.
So Bill lived far beyond his means, racking up $50,000 in unsecured debt. He started his recovery 17 years ago and now lives debt-free, except for his mortgage. He's on the DA national board of directors. And he says the recession is bringing more people into what he calls "the rooms," where meetings are held. He says there's no way to verify that assertion; they don't take attendance. But contributions are up.
Bill also notes that the conversation has a slightly different twist these days.
Bill: All along before we had this crunch we'd hear a lot about ... most people had credit card debt was the biggest thing. But the housing crunch and the housing market is driving what newcomers, I hear, into the rooms now.
I met up with one other L.A.-based DA member, Ethan. He was a mere $2,000 in debt when he joined up in 2001. But he was also trying to start and run a company and he couldn't manage those finances while making sure he still had rent money. We chatted on a remote hiking trail high atop the Hollywood Hills.
Ethan: I felt really powerless over being able to figure out how to deal with my life around money.
Now, eight years later, he, too, is debt-free. I asked whether he thought it was any easier at a time when so many people are having financial trouble for debtors to admit they have a problem. But DA'ers say no.
Ethan: It's not easy to talk about debt or money in any time. I think that's one of the most private... what you make, people associate that with their self-worth. And there's so much to hide in all of that.
Ethan is now -- for the first time in two years -- again facing the question of where next month's rent will come from. Work has dried up. But at least, he says, DA's steps have taught him to hike in the hills instead of panic over money.
Ethan: Now I know as opposed to going crazy in some way, I get to come to places like this, to breathe, to step outside. This gives me perspective.
Something that's been in short supply since the nation hit the crisis button.
Comments
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From Chandler, AZ, 09/23/2009
We are now debt free, except for our mortgage. Each person's will take a different course when trying to shake the shackles of debt, but there is one are where I have an issue with the experts: many of the debt reduction gurus out there advocate paying down the higher debt card first, siting the obvious mathematical advantage of knocking down the amount of interest that is charged. While that seems quite logical and reasonable, what many experts fail to take into account is the power of the human spirit. If we would do the opposite and not just pay down, but pay OFF the smallest debt first and then add our payment of the first to the payment of the second debt and then pay that off quickly, then we'll discover the power of quick victories which motivate us to not just pay down, but pay OFF the larger debts that remain! This method is advocated by Dave Ramsey.
From MO, 09/21/2009
Does anyone know of a debtors or shopaholics group in the St. Louis area?
From Brea, CA, 09/03/2009
Hi there:
I, too, am a member of Debtors Anonymous and my story is similiar to those who have already posted. I know how important the program has been and is in my life and DA will always be a very important part of my life. It has been and could be again, if I am not diligent, a matter of life and death.
DA is a 12 step program and borrows much of its tools and teachings from Alcoholics Anonymous, which was the first 12 step program.
DA utilizes and practices the 12 Traditions borrowed from A.A.
One of those traditions is Tradition 11, as follows:
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.
which is why all of the people who were interviewed either gave false names or first names only. I am dismayed to see that two members who posted comments above broke their anonymity.
When I filled out the necessary information, in order to post this comment, I listed a phoney last name and an old email that I don't use any longer, because I wanted to abide by the Tradition of Anonymity and maintain my anonymity 'at the level of press, radio or films.'
Because I believe with all my heart that all 12 step programs have only been able to survive and thrive because of the active adherence to the twelve traditions, I want others that read these postings to know that it is strongly encouraged and suggested that we never (NEVER) use our last names and personal information when dealing with the public. Please know that the first two postings are very unusual and not the norm in DA. Most members of DA honor the spirit of Tradition 11, anonymity. Please keep that in mind when and if you choose to post, if you are a member of any 12 step program.
Thanks so much to NPR for allowing Marketplace (and I am a member of KPCC and listen to KPCC and NPR all the time) to bring Debtors Anonymous to the public as a possible resource for recovery from debting. The only requirement for membership in DA is a desire to stop debting and we absolutely love newcomers.
From Tujunga, CA, 08/21/2009
In October I too will have 10 years in D.A. Eight years ago I got married without going into debt. It was a beautiful wedding with great food, good music and all our friends and family there. I literally danced down the aisle to meet my husband at the alter. The day we came back from our honeymoon we paid the caterer the balance of what we owed. I could go on about the "miracles" that have come into my life over these past 10 years but I won't. In DA one of the promises is that if we work the program we will learn to "live within our means yet our means will not define us." It's a promise that is constantly being fulfilled in my life. Thanks for highlighting 3 great members of our program out here in Southern California.
From Fairfield, CT, 08/21/2009
On Sept. 11 I will celebrate 5 years free of unsecured debt, thanks to DA. Being debt free and solvent is wonderful, being clear about finances and using money as a tool, rather than a panacea for the problems that life deals out, that is priceless!
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